Here Rob McRay’s understory from August 2018’s theme “Almost.” 

Almost, Nashville, almost.

We almost hugged a biker cop the night we almost got a D.U.I.—on our scooter—when 60-Almostour legally sufficient lie could not cover for our irresponsibility.

We almost didn’t get to fulfill our drinking fantasies in the only country that gets attacked by aliens. But a D.M.V.-like bureaucrat suddenly gave us a break for his lunch break.

We were almost about to be kind of a big deal, working with a director we’ll call “Andrew” on a British-Chinese-South African documentary about America. But the doomed negotiations with communists did lead us to a new friendship—and that’s kind of a big deal.

We almost bled when we were bullied, and unheard, and got a ticket to eternal torment for lipstick and rap and failing to obey men. But a light took us to a new place, and now we love life and pranks and our son…and the next adventure.

We almost got the girl, when we visited the solitary trailer with unrealistic expectations of the “Number One Crush.” After nearly getting shot by Redneck Rambo, we returned home alone to the strains of “Love Fool.”

We almost gave up on our novel about 7th-grade Abbie’s almosts. But minor accomplishments led to an Abbie-like editor whose decision to publish encouraged us to never give up.

We almost kept our secret in the basement of our souls, when we were invited into his “special club.” We told no one to protect our parents, until our husband revealed it and our mother apologized she couldn’t protect us.

We almost won a dream contract from that label, but our geek army playing anime conventions were told “Asians don’t sell.” But we won a Supreme Court case and inspired a generation of kids to fight for the voice of our community.

We thought we almost died from chlorine poisoning, which led to compulsive handwashing, and tapping on tiles, and an irrational fear of decapitation or being stabbed by a toy. But Lawrence died, and we smoked, and it stopped—and even after the swine flu, we didn’t have to worry about Chucky.

Almost, Nashville.


Thanks to all our tellers—Steve, Caroline, Pratik, Joshua, Kerrie, Simon, Raj, Kat, and Drew! Join us for our 5th year anniversary September 24 for our annual theme “Nashville.” Got a story? Let us know!

61- Nashville

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