Here is Rob McRay’s understory from our December 2019 theme “Kids.”
Tonight, Nashville, we heard about kids.
We knew we had to do it…without dwelling on the reality of it all. We gave their daughter food poisoning, and lost their son behind the curtain, and got stuck in the elevator. But banana pancakes were made for a day like that.
We chose the cheaper option over having a scalpel near his junk. We gave a pep talk to the little guys and gave TMI to the family. We worry some about their future, but we are still confident because we love our little rocket scientists.
Shouts through the screen door and more fussing upstairs led to temporary insanity and creative parenting bondage. We wonder how the therapists heard the story—but the girls are still closely bonded.
Dr. Moses brought us to the Promised Land. Then trying again, and a drop-off, and a friend with cancer, and an evil stepmother, and a run-away, and a posse member led to the chaos we love. Now were’ down to three…but there are still prayers out there somewhere!
We cherish the tapes of grandmother talking to the crew, and memories of the “Rail sisters.” And we are fascinated by the mystical soul connection between those sisters and our own children. And we discovered it all on a trip to Kroger.
Our future as a star catcher required obeying the strange rule, and wearing the piece of hollow plastic and a white strappy thing over our days-of-the-week panties. But hey…it builds character.
We get paid for obsessing over “who” and “whom,” despite three pages of slang about willies and bad stories about Richard Flacid. A deeply disturbing story from one of our least favorite tumors led to a weird sense of pride…and sadness for a troubled child.
“Nothing happened”—except for eating the detention slip and wearing a Walmart-bag Dumbledore hat. We exercised the crazy, as we saw…we saw…we saw his future…and it was fun!
We resented the infringement of camp on our free time, until a chance to flex our altruistic muscles at the hottest nonprofit. Then Pokémon fights and warm shoulder rides and a sign from Oprah led us to once again be glad it’s over.
And it’s over tonight.
Huge thanks to our amazing tellers, Maddi, Allen, Molly, Jackie, Alesha, Steve, Sonia, Elly, and Christy! Join us January 27, 2020 for our exciting collaboration with Team Music is Love for the theme “That’s My Song.”